Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
