Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
