You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
