I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
