your room smells of hookers.
And success
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
