Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
