i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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