im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
