i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
