Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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