Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
