i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
