how can u be prego again
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
