so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
