It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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