I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
