i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
