Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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