Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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