She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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