Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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