Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
