you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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