Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
