Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
