Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
