well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
