She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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