i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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