I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
