cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
