Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
