You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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