i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
