feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
