Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
