I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
