Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
