I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
