We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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