I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
