Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
