we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
