It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
