yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
