shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
