WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
