yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
