I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
