Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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