Say something about gay babies.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
