5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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