Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
