Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
