we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Alive.
So much puke
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
