You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
