I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
