this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
