Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
